Transformers - Directed by Michael Bay
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi action violence, brief sexual humor, and language.

A lot of people like to hate on Michael Bay, but I'm not one of them. No matter how many times I watch Armageddon and am generally disappointed with it, there's no denying that he's also the guy that did The Rock...aka, candidate for the top action movie of the 90's.

Therefore, I didn't know what to expect as I sat watching the trailers before Transformers. Would it be a camp-fest of epic proportions? Or instead a camp-fest with redeemably kick ass action?

Potential...squandered.

In Transformers, the Autobots--lead by the noble Optimus Prime--travel to Earth in search of a life-giving cube known as the 'Allspark'. And, of course, the only person who knows where to find it is Disney Channel punk Shia LaBeouf. Throw in some evil Decepticons, a shotgun touting Security of Defense, and a team of grizzled special forces soldiers and you've got one heck of a long movie.

In the opening minutes, in which a Decepticon attacks a military base, I could think only one thing, Man it'd be sweet if Bay did a MechWarrior movie. But unfortunately the Transformer combat in the rest of the movie never seemed to capture the same level of exhilaration for me.

Who'd a thunk epic robot-on-robot fight sequences in crowded city streets could be boring? Yet sure enough.

I think part of my displeasure with the finale fight sequence was the rapid pace at which it was edited, coupled with how similar the Autobots and Decepticons looked. For a while there, I couldn't even tell who was shooting who. Also, unlike the opening sequence, the climax was heavily computer generated, and didn't feature enough fusion with live-action shots.

Also, and this is more of a personal preference on my part, I feel the Decepticons should have played a much larger role in the film. Just as Cobra was better than their GI Joe enemies, Megatron and his crew were always more badass than the Autobots. But for nearly the first half of the movie, the main conflict is Shia trying to get laid. Lame.

Ultimately, Transformers is a Summer blockbuster the likes only Michael Bay can deliver. It's lighthearted, mindless, and, despite being a little too packed with useless filler and way too many characters, is sure to entertain most audiences. It'll probably sell a few toys, too. But if I were to recommend one of the two, I'd pick Live Free or Die Hard as the winner in the action department.

Shouldn't be missed for fans of the cartoon, but just don't expect the next Independence Day.

Rating: 3 / 5

~Khyron, 2007