Beowulf - Directed by Robert Zemeckis
Rated PG-13 for action violence and brief nudity

What an altogether odd experience Beowulf is. A fully CGI 3D movie, it was, if nothing else, unlike anything I had ever seen in the theater. Though I'm not sure if that's really a compliment.

Based off the epic Danish tale, Beowulf follows the exploits of a tough-as-nails warrior as he battles a deformed troll and its daemonic mother. Surprisingly enough, this is enough to fill almost two hours worth of movie.

I had never seen a 3D film before, so I wasn't sure what to expect with Beowulf. The required glasses--which cost an additional $2 on the price of admission--were made of a black plastic far superior to the classic red/blue paper doodads of years past. Still, their one size fits all design caused a rather large area of rawness on the bridge of my nose and quickly grew uncomfortable. Also, although I had a bit of a headache going into the film, it was far worse afterward.

In the context of the movie, the 3D was sort of a mixed blessing. At times it added a sense of scale and depth to certain shots, but at others it came off as a tacked on gimmick of, "Oh wow, that spear is coming right at meeeee!" Too many scenes were designed to do nothing else but showcase the 3D technology. Had this been designed as a traditional film, I believe both the runtime and cinematography would have been more enjoyable.

Also worth noting, the CGI felt terribly inconsistent. There were moments when graphics were so photo-realistic that I forgot I was watching a computer generated film. However, other shots were cartoonishly bad--more akin to something you'd see in Shrek. Moreover, animations were often jumpy, stinted, and altogether un-lifelike.

An average piece of work at best, Beowulf is the victim of too many gimmicky technologies. Also, the overly drawn out pacing may have you squirming in your seat.

Worst Scene: A laughably bad fight sequence between Grendel and Beowulf in which the titular character strips nude to do battle--thus forcing a series of well placed obstacles to appear in front of star Ray Winstone to prevent full-frontal nudity. Sort of like the infamous scene from The Simpsons Movie, only more cringe inducing.

Rating: 6 / 10