Wednesday, April 26, 2006

The K-Files - 04.26.06


04.26.06

Welcome to this week's installment of The K-Files. It was a very special episode of Coast to Coast AM last night. That's right, I'm talking of course about the birthday celebration of science advisor and hyper-dimensionally good guy, Richard C. Hoagland. In honor of the event, this week's installment is dedicated to Hoagland and the hard work he does to keep us all informed on the latest happenings in the universe.

In this Hoagland-esque edition of The K-Files, I will be discussing Mars. More specifically, our rovers Spirit and Opportunity. When was the last time you've heard about them? It's been a while since I've heard them mentioned in mainstream media, so I think it's time for a bit of a progress report on just what the heck is happening on the red planet. And I'll throw in some Richard C. props for good measure, too.

You'd better get ready, 'cause here come The K-Files...Full Article.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Review: Scary Movie 4 (2006)


Scary Movie 4 (2006) - Directed by David Zucker
Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual humor throughout, some comic violence and language.

It's been 3 years since the last installment of the Scary Movie franchise, and the horror genre has been relatively untouched by embarrassing spoofing. But with David Zucker's latest addition to the series, such recent hits as War of the Worlds and Saw get their comeuppance.

In Scary Movie 4, an alien race of well-dressed mannequins with a knack for crude torture invade the Earth with TriPods (walking iPods of death). Now Cindy Campbell (Anna Faris), following the direction of a ghost-child she encounters in a house she's keeping, must find the only man on Earth that can stop the invasion.

The story is a bit of a stretch and changes pace often, though of course spoofs like this don't rely much on plot. In fact, its seemingly random form of story telling only adds to the overall goofiness of the movie. Though when compared to other Zucker films, Scary Movie 4 doesn't quite match up.

I think what really hurts Scary Movie 4 the most is the lack of recent horror movies that are good enough to deserve spoofing. The story relies most heavily on War of the Worlds and Saw for material, but other movies like The Village and The Grudge are also referenced to a lesser extent. Then to fill in the gaps, Scary Movie 4 falls back on some low-brow potty-humor, kids getting hit with things, and cameos by the likes of Bill Pullman and Michael Madsen among others.

Although not consistently funny, there are a few good laughs to be had. A favorite in my mind is a flashback to a boxing match in which everyone seems to break their neck. Though more than a few of the jokes fall flat on their face. The much publicized Oprah scene comes to mind. It may have been funny the first time I saw it, but it has been so over-used in the previews that the whole scene was totally expected and entirely un-funny. Likewise, a very untimely Mike Tyson ear-biting joke makes you wonder if it were the 90's again.

Worth Your Time? All in all, Scary Movie 4 is a solid, though inconsistent, addition to the franchise.

Memorable Line:
Michael Madsen's take on Tim Robbins' War of the World line, "This isn't a war. This is like humans fighting maggots. Or dragons fighting wolves. Or humans on dragons throwing wolves at maggots."

Rating:
3.5 / 5

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Review: Hostel (DVD)


Hostel (2005) - Directed by Eli Roth
Unrated, but contains scenes of explicit violence and gore and heavy amounts of nudity.

One of my guilty pleasures in life is the graphic violence in low-budget, imitation 'snuff' films. I'm not sure what I find really entertaining in them (or if they can even be described as entertainment), but the sense of uneasiness created in such recent attempts as the Saw franchise and The Devil's Rejects provides exactly the escape from reality that I look for in a movie. Now Eli Roth's Hostel, produced and toted by Quentin Tarantino to be the next big thing in horror, gets an Unrated DVD release.

The Movie~

Hostel is best described as a really good idea with poor execution. That's not to say that it's a complete mess, but it felt as if the script didn't receive the proper refinement required before being put to film.

In Hostel, 3 backpacking college students find themselves staying at a too-good-to-be-true hostel in Eastern Europe. Seduced by the local females, the group parties hard at the local clubs. However, after one of them mysteriously disappears, they discover a black-market of debauched violence beyond their worst nightmares.

Hostel is broken down into two uneven parts. The first (and longest) is over an hour of filler as the trio of cocky tourists navigate the Eastern European locales. It's an hour of drugs, nudity, and college shenanigans akin to a teen comedy. Then in the last 30 minutes or so, Hostel really starts to pick up and finally begins to reveal an actual plot.

There's actually some pretty deep and sick ideas presented, but they are so under-developed that it's a real shame. A scene in particular in which actor Rick Hoffman discusses the merits of killing slowly over quickly stands out, as does a hidden message about international relations and how Americans are perceived in the world--but, again, such originality and cleverness doesn't feel nearly as utilized as it should have been.

Though what really saves it are the gore shots. Orchestrated by the Tom Savini disciple Greg Nicotero and team, they are some of the more imaginative and brutal I've seen in a while. And despite a hokey 'eye yolk' scene, it's all very realistic and top notch.

The DVD~

For those that saw Hostel in theatres, be warned that this 'unrated' DVD doesn't bring much new to the film. A couple extended gore shots aside, this is pretty much the same movie seen in theatres.

The video quality is good enough, and the dark sets remain crisp and sickening. The sound, likewise, is a top notch transfer. Death screams and blood drips sound great with a Dolby Digital surround system.

As far as the extra features go, Hostel offers the basics: 4 audio commentary tracks (including one with Quentin Tarantino) and a behind the scenes featurette. Though, as a whole, the package does seem a bit lacking.

Personally, I would have liked to have seen a featurette of Greg Nicotero and his effects team. This movie had some great gore gags, and it'd been cool to see how they were done.

The Bottom Line~

Eli Roth's Hostel is a flawed masterpiece saved by Greg Nicotero's gore effects and an interesting underlying message. The concept just screams for a more refined sequel. The DVD is acceptable with a quality transfer, but lacking in extra features.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

The K-Files - 04.19.06 ~REAL ID


So who’s heard of the REAL ID Act of 2005? Because up until a few weeks ago, I sure as heck hadn't.

What if I were to tell you that in as little as 2 years, we’re all going to have to trade in our state-issued driver’s licenses for what is essentially a national ID card? Sounds kind of sudden doesn’t it? You’d think we would have heard more about it on the news or in the paper. Yet here we are, coming up on the new law’s first anniversary in May.

For those unaware of the REAL ID Act (which I’m assuming is a majority of you), it was signed into law on May 11, 2005. Basically, it says that in two years (i.e. May 11, 2008) if a driver’s license is to be used for identification purposes, it must meet a set of standards set forth by the Department of Homeland Security. These standards include such common identifiers like full name, signature, address, and a photograph, but the new law also states that they must all have some kind of unified, machine-readable technology. Although exactly what this technology will be hasn’t been decided, the Department of Homeland Security’s vocal support for RFID (radio frequency identification) seems to almost guarantee what to expect.

But even more frightening is the sharing of state databases that the law will require. Frankly, I can’t see the how linking state driver databases would help deter terrorism as expected. Considering no amount of identification could ever determine evil intent and that any terrorist determined enough will have a way to get his hands on a forgery, I don't see the point in such a system.

And I won’t even get into the possibilities for identity theft associated with a linked and centralized database. Talk about putting all of your eggs into one basket, though.

But you know what? All RFID and conspiracy theory aside, what really bothers me about the REAL ID Act (well, besides the fact that it pretty much passed into law without a second thought) is the more immediate effects it will have on the American citizen. I won’t claim to be some kind of economist, but the system that will need to be set up in order to issue the licenses and then manage the linking of databases must be huge. And I can only imagine the tax and fee increases that will be needed in order to pay for it. Considering Minnesota just remade our license last year, the whole thing seems a bit silly to me.

Even more bothersome than the financial burden this new law creates, and what I find the most frightening of all, is that the bureaucracy of the federal government is about the get a lot bigger. You want to talk about the downfall of western civilization, look no further than a stand in line, wait your turn, red tape, rules for the sake of having rules bureaucracy.

Even though the REAL ID Act of 2005 didn’t receive much press when it was signed in last year, I think we can expect much more discussion when the time comes and it’s up to the states to implement it. Until then, I’m going to do whatever I can to try and get this thing rejected. Because of it all goes through, we walk a slippery slope, indeed.

You can check out the exact wording of the law at the Library of Congress website Here.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Art Bell Bombshell


So I got home from work (just in time to miss Ian Punnett, as usual) and sat down for the big Art Bell return show. His absence these past few weekends was certainly nothing unusual for Art, especially considering the poor guy lost his wife only a couple months back.

Well, all I can say is that its a good thing I didn't decide to drink anything after work. Because if I did, I'd probably be purchasing a new keyboard right about now. For those that missed his on-air announcement or any of the subsequent call-ins and message board chatter, Art Bell came back to announce that he had in fact remarried during his break.

What, what, what!?!

Art Bell has been known to throw his audience a few curve balls in the past, but I'm going to say that this one takes the cake. In my most wildest of dreams, I never saw this coming. It all just seems like an episode of a bad sitcom.

You can check out all of the pictures of Art and his new wife Airyn Ruiz Bell over at the Coast to Coast AM website Here.

I'm going to hold off making any judgments/comments/decisions about this until the shock value wears off, but I think something is a bit off considering he pronounced her name differently seemingly every other sentence. Art, I'm glad you're happy, but I just don't know how I can handle hearing, "Live from the Philippines, here's Art Bell."

Stay tuned for updates.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

The K-Files - 04.12.06 Special Report


"Are you on MySpace?"

"No."

"Oh, well you should get one."

I have this above conversation at least 2 or 3 times a week. Apparently there was an internet revolution that I missed out on, because it feels like I'm the only guy age 18 to 24 without a MySpace page. But, you know what? Lately, I've been priding myself on that fact. For the life of me, I cannot see the appeal in it. What is it about posting a picture of yourself you took in a mirror with a camera-phone and creating a cyberspace network of friends you will probably never meet that is so attractive? Perhaps I'm just don't know what's cool anymore (a prospect I find quite improbable), but I think MySpace is pretty lame. But could it also be dangerous?

Alright, so what exactly is a MySpace? Well, I can tell you what they're not: visually attractive. Have you ever wondered what would happen if the internet was made by a bunch of high school kids without any html or graphic design knowledge? Well, browse through any random MySpace page and you can find out. Granted, I have seen a few clean and attractive pages, but a majority use poor color combinations, a myriad of pointless 'about me' charts, and my biggest pet peeve: background music. But, essentially, a MySpace is the mixture of a blog and a virtual address book. It's a place where groups of friends can network with each other, spread gossip, and do all that other stuff teen groups do.

Sounds pretty harmless, but is it? Despite the obvious dangers of posting personal information on the internet, there may also be a deeper and far more sinister plot at hand.

A brief search of MySpace history reveals that although the site began as an upstart project for a UCLA alumni, it is now under the ownership of Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation. So wait, could it be that MySpace, a haven for teenage rebels and a 'stick it to the man' mentality is in fact being run by one the world's biggest media conglomerates? Oh snap.

For what Murdoch has in store for MySpace, I turn to documentary filmmaker Alex Jones. For those that follow The K-Files, you'll know that I'm a pretty big Jones fan. Although I may not believe everything he says to be fact, I believe his intentions to be sincere. On the subject of MySpace, Jones believes it to be a "Trojan horse" for internet censorship. He lays it all out in the appropriately titled article, "MySpace Is The Trojan Horse Of Internet Censorship," written by himself and Paul Joseph Watson and posted on Infowars.com. Basically, he goes on to say that with the free-flowing current of information provided by the internet, the media elite needed to create a system that could win back their power. By making MySpace hip and trendy, he argues, they can get a generation of internet users accustomed to the kind of controlled internet hub that has been planned for the Internet 2 project.

In the article, Jones presents a story detailing how a blog posting critical of MySpace was deleted. He then took it a step further by creating his very own MySpace to test it. You can check it out at http://www.myspace.com/alex_infowarrior. He claims that he followed all of the rules outlined in the End User License Agreement, and will continue posting his NWO/conspiracy stories to see if he gets censored. If nothing else, seeing the image he chose for his avatar is worthy of checking it out.

So far, there has been no funny business regarding censorship, so either Jones' has blown this out of proportion (I wouldn't put it past him), or Murdoch and company are leaving him alone in fear of creating a martyr. In either case, I think the danger is still real. MySpace may not be the stepping stone on the path to totalitarianism like some fear, but if it is to be a format for things to come, the internet is indeed in trouble. And, at the least, it's not good to become desensitized to the constant bombardment of invasive (and sometimes hidden) advertising becoming common place on MySpace, as well as our modern world as a whole.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

The K-Files - 04.05.06


The K-Files
04.05.06

Welcome back to another week's installment of The K-Files. The 'Files have been a bit sporadic as of late on account of illness (both mine and those near me) and a hectic work load. But fear not, for you are mere seconds away from another helping of esoteric commentary.

This week, the Top Story covers that infamous Texas professor's view on overpopulation. Next, I present to you more scientists trying to disprove the Bible for no reason. Finally, I've got an article detailing the recent brightening of the sun.

You’d better get ready, ‘cause here come the K-Files…Full Article.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Sci-Fi Showdown - Winter Season Awards


The Sci-Fi Showdown - Winter Season Awards

Welcome back to Khyron's Sci-Fi Showdown. It's been a couple weeks since the explosive night of season finales, which I think is enough time to have let it all sink in and to prepare for this, Khyron's First Annual Sci-Fi Showdown Winter Season Awards Spectacular!

For newcomers to the Showdown, here's how it works. Over the 10 weeks that comprised the Sci Fi Channel's Sci Fi Friday line-up, I have been rating each of the three shows--Stargate Sg-1, Stargate Atlantis, and Battlestar Galactica--in order of entertainment value. Each week, I awarded the show that I felt was the most entertaining. Take note that I was not rating the show that was the 'best'--it was merely a preference as to which of the three accomplished what it set out to do most successfully.

For Battlestar Galactica, that accomplishment was usually sock-knocking character drama coupled with top-notch special effects. For the Stargates, on the other hand, success was usually measured in how they blended fantasy action with tongue-in-cheek comedy.

It was a close race there in the opening weeks, but in a near repeat of last season, Battlestar Galactica soon took the lead as Showdown champ. Here's how the final numbers break down:

Stargate Sg-1: 3
Stargate Atlantis: 1
Battlestar Galactica: 6

Thus the raining champion Battlestar Galactica continues its science fiction dominance.

But the Showdown ain't over yet. No good award post would be complete without some high-class awards to give out. So, without further adieu, here are Khyron's picks for excellence in the Winter Season of Sci Fi Friday...

(Note: SG1 = Stargate Sg-1, SGA = Stargate Atlantis, BSG = Battlestar Galactica)

Best Actor (Leading Role) - James Callis (BSG)

In the Summer Season Awards, I debated as to wether or not James Callis' role as the neurotic Dr. Gaius Baltar could be considered a leading role. In the end, I chose to give the top honors to Jamie 'Apollo' Bamber. However, and especially due to his performance in the 'Lay Down Your Burdens' finale, one simply cannot deny that Callis is a driving force on the testosterone side of things. Even more so, in my mind, James Callis' Gaius Baltar makes Battlestar Galactica.

Kudos to you, Mr. President. Take a bow.

Runner-ups: Ben Browder (SG1), Jamie Bamber (BSG), Joe Flanigan (SGA)

Best Actor (Supporting Role) - David Hewlett (SGA)

Although Stargate Atlantis didn't recieve many Showdown points, that doesn't mean that its a poor show. Far from it. One of its finest aspects is the tremendously witty (if not cowardly) Dr. Rodney McKay, played by English-native David Hewlett. Of all the Atlantis team, McKay is probably the most developed, interesting, and down-right entertaining of the bunch. Hewlett's performance is definatley one of the main aspects keeping me interested in the show.

Runner-ups: Tahmoh Penikett (BSG), Aaron Douglas (BSG), Michael Hogan (BSG)

Best Actress (Leading Role) - Tricia Helfer (BSG)

What really can be said of Tricia Helfer that isn't already blatently obvious to anyone that watches Battlestar Galactica? To gain proof of her talent, one need only consider that she is in fact playing 2 seperate, and very troubled characters--and that she slam-dunks the both of them. Season highlights include the Cylon-centric 'Downloaded' as well as her emotional (and explosive) farewell in 'Lay Down Your Burdens'. The look in her eyes when she finds Gaius alive on New Caprica has me shivering with anticipation for season 3.

This was a tough call between Tricia and Mary McDonnell. I'm sure Mary will be recognized when the Emmy's roll around (she had better at least, or else I will lose total hope in humanity), but ultimately it was Tricia's versatility that put her on top in my book.

Runner-ups: Torri Higginson (SGA), Grace Park (BSG), Mary McDonnell (BSG).

Best Actress (Supporting Role) - Nicki Clyne (BSG)

This was actually a tough choice. Though its not that I had several candidates, but rather a lack of them. It would be a shame to consider any of the top-notch female cast members of Battlestar Galactica having anything less than a leading role. The only character that could be readily described as 'supporting' would be Specialist Cally, played by the ever-charming Nicki Clyne. We hadn't seen much from Galactica's favorite greese-monkey dentist-to-be, but things really started to pick up for her in the closing episodes. Her performance during and after her savage beating at the hands of Aaron Douglas scores Nicki a place in Showdown history.

Runner-ups: Kandyse McClure (BSG)

Best Guest Appearance - Dean Stockwell (BSG)

This one was a no-brainer. When it comes to guest-stars, Battlestar Galactica dominated the lineup by far. From genre favorites Lucy Lawless and Michelle Forbes to Bill Duke and Dean Stockwell, what's not to like about BSG's guest appearances?

My original plan was to go with Michelle Forbes, as her portrayal as the strict yet sensible Helena Cain dominated early season discussion. But Dean Stockwell's performance in the 'Lay Down Your Burdens' finale was unforgettable. Imagine for a moment what that finale would have been like without him. Yep, that's why he gets the award.

Runner-ups: Michelle Forbes (BSG), Bill Duke (BSG), Lucy Lawless (BSG)

Best Single Episode - Lay Down Your Burdens Part 2 (BSG)

Love it or hate it (there doesn't seem to be much middle ground here), "One Year Later" was the biggest thing to hit Battlestar since the original nukes that took out mankind. This 90 minute rollercoaster pulled out all the stops and broke all expectations. I thought I knew where this show was going, but boy, oh boy...I sure didn't see this coming.

Kudos to the cast, crew, writers, and everyone else that contributed to BSG's season 2 finale. You guys had big shoes to fill, but you left this fan satisfied, horrified, and completely addicted to your show. Congrats.
-------------

Well, so there we have it. Thus concludes Khyron's Winter Season Awards Spectacular. I would like to give special thanks to all that supported the Sci Fi Showdown over the past weeks. To all of you SciFi.com BBoard members, USofE citizens, Coast Rider's, and of course my ever loyal (if not small) fanbase, thank you for the inspiration to keep the Showdown going.

Stay tuned in the coming months for a few big changes to the Showdown format. Thank you, and good night.

~Khyron, 2006